Category Archives: #PTSD

“I’m not gonna change!-Then you are never going to be happy!” Adult Version



How many times have you heard someone say: ” I’m not gonna change!”?  How many times have you said or thought it?  I can imagine that a lot of us have said this at one time or another and most likely in anger or when we feel that we have been attacked or judged.

The thing is:  No One wants to be criticized.

We are hurt that someone could point out a perceived flaw that we have.  And anyway why should we change for others? And that is the key…we should not change for others, BUT use the opportunity to have a reality check. See if there is something that we are doing,  that is keeping us stuck in a pattern of unhappiness. For instance, constant complaining about crap that happened at the dawn of time or belly aching about our current situation, being the constant victim, or plain just being a huge prick. Instead of saying: “Fuck-it, this is not gonna do!” and becoming proactive by dropping the: our Fairy Godmother has been “Wanding” us up the rear excuse all these years! ( and besides you can’t depend on that Witch anyway!)

Wake the Hell up! The world is NOT out to get you! There is no cosmic conspiracy to single you out and make your life a living hell! Shit happens-Bad Shit happens and it will continue to happen-that is a sure bet!  And guess what??? Everyone one suffers, some more than others, so in that sense life is fair! But…..

We can make an effort not to be the victim, we can make  an effort to change the way we handle situations, we can decide IF we are going to let something bother us. The choice is ours, we are not powerless!  But it is hard, the habits of years are hard to change and sometimes it can be scary! It’s scary doing new things, but it can also be very invigorating & empowering.

We have to stop standing in the way of our own happiness, we have to stop sabotaging ourselves!  The choice is ours-we should all choose to be happy. It is OK,  if your happiness looks different than mine. That is the beauty of the experience of Life, it is different for each of us!


I write these words as someone who has been in the depths of Hades, someone who has come to terms with the darkness that dwells within me, someone who realizes that it is a part of me.

So, I  pledge everyday that I will do whatever I can to increase my happiness. I will give my compassion freely and abundantly-and if I take you in my arms;  know that I won’t hold back!  Because that is one of the things that make me happy!  -SJ