Tag Archives: #hurting

My Kintsugi Heart !!

Standard

My Heart looks like Kintsugi pottery!

small kintsugi hearts

Crash course Kintsugi pottery-broken pottery that has been repaired with resins and gold powder. The repaired piece is many times worth more than unbroken due to the craftsmanship and materials used to fix it!

We have all had broken hearts – it is part of life! Some are blessed to have had their hearts broken only a few times. And for us others, well we are just too big hearted, too empathetic-we have big hearts and we can’t help but to love others! And our hearts show it:

kintsugi heart

We don’t have one or two broken lines-no, our hearts show how much we love! And right now mine feels shattered!

AND YES IT HURTS-YOU FEEL IT IN YOUR CHEST-YOU CAN NOT DENY THE FEELING!!  It takes away your breath, your chest is squeezed tight, you think :”Just let me die now-I can”t stand this pain!”  But somehow the Universe does it’s magic and with time the pain goes away and you begin to live again and Love again!

But this time it is different for me-I can feel that I need to be very careful with the mending, I need to take my “Kintsugi work”  very seriously! I feel a hardness creeping into the repair. My inner voice tells me that this is the beginning of a HARDENED HEART !   I have to repair with Love- not bitterness or anger!

But this break, this is so different than any before, this break challenges me, taunts me and evil lurks in the shadow hoping I’ll turn bitter-I can feel the pull-how easy it would be to follow THAT path! To give in to the hate and ugliness. On THAT path the pain is masked by anger and hate and for a short while we feel like we have conquered the pain, but the truth is that : it is still there and when we are alone and daydreaming the pain creeps back up and we find ourselves in a vicious cycle of HURTING and HATING!

And before we realize what has happened, we find that we no longer Love as freely and as innocently as before-we are so afraid of the hurt that we begin to lose our ability to truly Love and be genuine with others. And the saddest in all of this is that we lose the capability to SEE Love that is given to us!

Words of hate or I can not forgive-those are words of evil, of poison, words of keeping us in a cycle of damnation, words of hopelessness!  Words and thoughts that cloud our minds and hearts and keep us from seeing and feeling the Love that is all around us and in everything!

THAT IS NOT ME!

I AM LIGHT!

I AM THE ENCOURAGING WHISPER!

I AM THE GENTLE CARESS!

I AM THE STRENGTH!

I AM HERE!

I AM THE TRUE FRIEND!

I AM LOVE

“LOVE IS ENERGY-LOVE IS ACTON-LOVE IS BIG ”  _S.J.