I think I live with a Jedi Master

This mornings discussion somehow was about rules and my DH says: “We are Americans-we bend the rules.”  I asked him how does someone know if they are breaking the rules vs. bending them.  He answers: ” It is the intention. If your intention is to do good, then you are bending the rules.  Anything else is breaking the rules.”

So instead of hating on someone for “breaking your rules”, maybe you should see the big picture from their point of view. They might not be bending the rules for their own selfish reasons but because they truly believe in something passionately. As long as no one is hurt.

Thursday’s Thoughts

You have heard it before…..

Thursday Thoughts-Compromise

 

Compromise, what a great idea!

 

Two parties want different things but no one is willing to give in-so you come up with a compromise. A solution to the problem at hand that both parties can live with. Sounds great and in most cases it works out great too—–

But, what about you ? What if you find yourself in relationships, friendships and social circles being the one having to do all the “compromising “?

It starts out hamless enough: Suzy pouting: “I don’t want to do that!” So, you give in and do what Suzy wants. The next time comes around and again Suzy does not want to do something so the pouting starts but this time you stick to your guns and let her know what ya’ll will be doing-well, suddenly something comes up and Suzy can’t go-ok it happens sometimes-but now Suzy is Butthurt and instead of telling you what is wrong she decides to totally go dark for a few weeks, leaving you and everyone else wondering what in the hell is going on! She is now in manipulation mode-she will have had the time to practice some sob story of what has been going on and why she has been so distant. (research into the validity of her statements prove that she is not too honest either.)

Or she loudly protests any suggestions you make, because they were not her ideas. In those moments the “team player” mentality is not being practiced. Again, her treatment of you leaves a lot to be desired.

True friends and most people for the fact of the matter do not act like this, they understand what compromise means, they understand that in relationships you give and you take. Never too much of one and most definitely never too much of the other.

Things need to change when:

You find yourself having to compromise much more than just who gets to decide what is going to be done.

You find yourself giving into the wishes of others so as not to upset them.

You find yourself disregarding your beliefs, just to pacify someone else.

You find yourself doing something under “false / shady” pretenses.

There is no shame in calling people out for that behavior , there is no shame in leaving those types of relationships, there is no shame in being UNCOMPROMISING in those areas that mean much to you! (IMHO if no harm of any kind comes to another being).

May you recognize selfish behavior not only in others but in yourself too and put a stop to it !

Namaste

First ever Lace Grace and Gears rally !

Lady Riders-Motorcycle Riders converged on Beaumont, Texas in an attempt to set a new world record of the most Lady riders in a motorcycle motorcade.

For those of you hoping to read a negative review of this event, I am happy to disappoint you! ( Any suggestions that I have of improving some areas, I will share in a private setting.)

Update: for the record I do not agree with blaming a whole city and their police force on social media. Grievances can and should be handled in a more constructive manner.

The organizers of Lace Grace and Gears provided us – Lady Bikers – with a canvas with which we each could create our own experience and for the majority of attendees we created a one of a kind experience!

I have in all my years of riding and attending events never felt this at home and at ease around others as I did during this event. Meeting many for the first time that awkwardness was not there. There was a level of excitement but tempered with laid backness! Even the men who were in attendance were easy and gracious to be around . Ok, telling the truth there were 2 guys that were there Saturday morning that were totally rubs and acted like little boys. Had any of the men in attendance over heard them talking about the women, I am sure they would have been escorted to the nearest alley!

The citizens of Beaumont surely had second thoughts about a “Biker Rally” in their city, but once they realized that it was Women, they fully embraced us. So many people who I came in contact with were just great and excited to see all these women on motorcycles. People would stop and make a point of telling me how great they thought the Rally was and that they too would like to start riding.

My group stayed at the #MCM Elegante hotel and every single associate there was upbeat, polite and went out their way to make our stay a memorable one. The food during our stay was amazing, Thursday night was Steak on the grill with buffet of salad and baked potatoes. I like my Steak very, very well done. The gentleman who grilled it did a perfect job-I had the right amount of charring around the edges and it was well done. This steak, even though I wanted the crap cooked out of it-was the most tender steak I have ever eaten. We ate all our meals with  the exception of lunch in the hotel. And I am so pleased with the quality and service that we received.

So in closing I want to thank the citizens of Beaumont but most of all YOU fellow lady riders the women who helped make this an event that has helped me refocus and reenergize my efforts to bring into the fold  and support other women riders.

Keep it real and remember-you get back what you give out!

Namaste  ~~SJ~~

 

 

 

 

The First of many! Lone Star Run!

An idea/dream born some many years ago has begun to take shape. The first steps of what we hope will become a Texas tradition/event/happening, were taken on August 28 2016 @ 0800hrs.

The idea is really a combination of two kick-ass events-The El Diablo Run and Babes Ride Out.

It is a return to Old School riding! It is an attempt to gather like-minded bikers together, to ride, share stories and make lasting friendships.

Is is NOT-an event where you pay to register, there are no vendors, no headlining acts-it is purely about the ride and being  your own person. You choose your own lodging or sleep next to your bike.

It is -a ride in the Great State of Texas, it is a self paced ride, it will challenge you to be more independent, it will give you the opportunity to swap stories and learn things about your bike and yourself that might not have known. It is a ride where it is all about the rider, their bike and Texas!

This year’s ride was the Three Sisters, we chose an overnight to see how much distance is enjoyable for one day. On this trip we learned a lot about each other and took the time to enjoy the scenic roads and small towns.

We met some really nice folks on the road, the thing that stood out was all the well wishes we received along the way-from non-riders to MC members. Everyone thought it was pretty cool to see a group of women out on the road. Most importantly we made memories and now have our own road stories to add !

So, maybe you will join us on our next run !

Till then: if life throws you a curve lean into it!

~~SJ~~

Full Circle

If you have ever spent the whole day riding you have surely seen it. The Sun as it rises is reddish-orange and then in the blink of an eye it is blazing white!

I noticed this recently on a ride and at first it was just an annoyance, I had to stop my journey to put on sunglasses so that I could even see. I must admit I was a little annoyed, I had to put on my flashers and pull over.Cars and trucks were whizzing by me and for a moment, that thought went thru my head, you know the thought, the one everyone has at one time or another-get hit by some vehicle that is magically drawn to anyone stopped on the shoulder!

Well fast forward to the end of the day-the Sun is starting to set and it is blazing white (it was a gorgeous day to ride) I noticed this and then as I pass a bank of trees and come out from under an overpass the setting Sun is instantly reddish-orange! And I am once again faced by the decision to change my eyewear-the difference this time though is that I  am not riding solo. I am leading my Sisters home after a wonderful day of riding. Do I stop and change out my eyewear now or do I wait until it is safe to pull off the road?  To be honest there was no question for me, I would lead my Sisters to a safe place for everyone to pull over!

And that is how it is in life for me-when it only affects me I will sometimes make decisions that are not always the safest, bestest or wisest.   When it affects others, than I have to take the time and look at solutions from all sides and pick the best one for the good of the all. Does that mean I am “wishy-washy”? Should my Sisters never see me change my mind? I surely hope not !  We all have areas that are non-negotiable, as we get to know people, we kinda get an idea of where they stand on certain issues. Getting to that point  can be difficult and straining, we many times still have our own interests in mind instead of the other person’s.

It is good to disagree, it gives us the opportunity to grow and learn how to see issues from all sides. The key is not to take it personally, and that is maybe the biggest obstacle we face. We think that if someone is not in agreement with us they surely must be against us. How boring would life be if we all agreed on everything?

So what I must learn to do is separate the person from the issue, and remind myself that it is ok for others to disagree with me-BUT, I ask those around me to also play by the rules and respect my position on issues.

Namaste

 

 

 

 

 

 

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In Texas it is HOT, HOT and Hot !

We had the pleasure of riding with a group of really chill ladies a week ago. It was not a check off miles ride – more of let’s check out the surrounding area.

What stood out the most for me was the way everyone kinda meshed, good vibes and a being comfortable around each other. Some of us had just met that morning. But if you saw us at the restaurant or swimming  afterwards you would have thought that we  go waaaay back.

This same feeling came up a few nights ago at a local Ladies Garage Night. Ladies talking about their passion for riding and traveling and having new experiences. I believe that for the most part we as women have had a bad rap. Even among our own gender we have the reputation of being  petty and back stabbing, gossipy etc. I know many people say that it is in our DNA-Bullshit. It comes about from our environment! Jealousy and hate are all things of the Ego, things that are learned.

Truth is, that this is the first time in my life that I have chosen to become friends with so many women! Why, because I just connected better with guys and for the most part there was no Drama.  Now, I am meeting women who know who they are and they have no need to drag others down just to make themselves look good. Women who share my enthusiasm for riding and furthering riding among other women too.

Thru Facebook I am following and have met women who are showing that we can maintain our femininity and still be kick butt biker babes, women who no longer have to hide who they are and who they love, women who are going thru some serious medical issues but they keep on. Women who are making a difference in their communities and invite us to join them. Women who are teaching their daughters what it means to be your own self.

And from all these women I have learned to be non-apologetic about who I am and what my vision for my life is ! Am I perfect?  OH, HELL NO ! But what good is life if you can not make mistakes?  So Ladies, give your Sisters a break, let them make mistakes and forgive them because only you suffer when you hang on to hate!

Namaste~~~~SJ~~~~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What an interesting Year

I must say, 2015 was interesting in many different ways !

For those of you who know me, you are aware that I am now a member of a Motorcycle Riding Club, an all female one at that ! I will try to convey to you thru this blog the ups and downs and pure joy of riding a motorcycle and riding with a group of women who I claim as my SISTERS.

For some years now I have longed to belong to a group of motorcyclists, people that I could be friends with, people I could ride with, people who can challenge me, people that understand the best relationships are a balance between give and take.

After countless hours of research and many miles of clandestine checking out of other groups I was drawn to my current club. Yes, it is a Riding Club and not an MC. People who join an MC (Motorcycle Club) are extremely dedicated to their club, they have mandatory meetings and rides.Many Mcs require their members ride a certain number of miles each year and that they also ride into other states. They go thru a lengthy probationary period, during which time they do not wear a back patch. After they have proven that they are a good fit with the MC, they are presented/awarded/earned their patches.  Being in a Riding Club does not require that level of commitment-don’t get me wrong, we ask for your commitment but our level is way lower.

And saying I encountered ups and downs is the truth. As with any new endeavor there are growing pains. I made several unintentional mistakes when I started this chapter. Mistakes that I have learned from and hope as time goes on I will beable to share with my readers.

But back to my journey; for at least 2.5 months I was riding solo. I kept telling myself: I know that I am not the only female who rides her own!  I posted on FB and Meetup. Quiet a few women contacted me but when they found out they had to ride their own and that we were a serious Riding Club and yes, we give back to our communities the conversation stopped.  One lady was only interested in buying the patch, REALLY!!                                                                                                                      Finally, I hooked up with a remarkable woman, she decided to bet on me and my vision for this chapter. She was my first official member and she has become not only my VP but my confidant!    Us meeting is definitely an Up !!

The vision for this chapter is in direct line with our Founders vision for the International Riding Club and that is : Encourage women to ride their own. Empower women to make good choices for themselves, their families and communities.Be positive role models in out communties. Support women in their healthy goals for themselves. Provide a safe non-judgemental, DRAMA free  environment, a place where the shy ones have a voice, a place where they can voice their opionons and will be heard. A place where women understand their responsibilty to each other. A place where loyalty is not just spoken about but demonstrated. A place where new riders are encouraged and able to ride at their own pace and learn about safety and riding in formation. A place where women can ride together and become better riders.

Until next time -Sisterhood-Respect-Loyalty and much Love

SJ

 

 

What the @#*&! or I might just be too Opinionated to be a Buddhist!!

What would summer be without cooking outside, or watermelon or cold salads or  going barefoot (yes, in the grass but also across the hot asphalt!) or the smell of chlorine from the public pool or the sand in your bathing bottoms from spending a day at the beach or summer concert nights!!!!

Or how you can smell everything when riding your bike!

I love summer, I really do-hell I can find something to like about EVERY season, and yes there are some things I DON’T like about summer!

Like how SWEAT runs down my face and body even when I’m not moving!! How at the end of the day my clothes  are dripping wet!

Or how some guys think it is ok to wear SPEEDOS!  Guys if your not an Olympic swimmer than do us all a favor and don’t do the Speedo thing-pictures like that are hard, if damn near impossible to get out of ones head!!!

Or  how  frigging HOT my motorcycle seat gets when sitting in the sun!  Or having to WAIT at a red light on my mototcycle!

Or when your riding at the end of the day and  NO visor or sunglasses can keep the friggin’ sun out of your eyes!

Or having some NIMROD throw a cigarette out their car window!

Or finding the perfect spot at the evening Concert in the park only to realize that your sitting on the home of Fire Ants!!! OUCH!!

Or how some ladies forget what their feet look like in sandals-girls, that is why  pumice stones were invented!

Or Too much Body hair on women-for all you Bigfoots out there-that is why we have RAZORS and WAX and LASERS and DEPILATORY CREAMS etc. (this goes for some men too!)

Or how some people just should not ever, never, ever, EVER  wear daisy dukes! BBBRRRR!!! And this goes for guys too!! I am sure the Gay community will agree with me on this one! The 70’s are GONE guys, get with the times!

Or a BRAZILIAN WAX, don’t get me wrong I love the look and feel but  the PAIN! For the love of all things sacred-THE PAIN!!!! I’m thankful it only needs to be done once and it lasts all summer long!

Or B.O. !   People!!  if you live in a country with running water and soap,  you should not smell like STEAMED ONIONS!!! ( unless your French, we all KNOW the deal with them! French whore bath-hint-hint!)!!

I hope you all enjoy your summer, just do the rest of us a favor and try to follow “The Rules” !!

 

Namaste,

SONJA J. GROGAN